You have more dog
beds, chew toys, collars, leashes, harnesses, and dog crates than you have
You meet other people with
dogs, and remember their dog's call name after 30 seconds, but don't get the
owner/handler's name until you've met them 2 or 3 times.
You don't think twice about trading licks of an ice cream cone with your dog.
Your parents give up on grandchildren and start to refer to your dogs as
"your kids" or your children." (Bonus: they start to call them
90 percent of your Internet connection time goes to the dogs
(seeing what's new when you enter your breed into the browser, reading up on multiple
lists, checking out photos, sounds and FAQs, etc.).
You have hundreds of pictures of your dogs on your desk at
work, in your wallet, etc., but none of your family or yourself.
No one wants to ride in your car because they know they'll get dog hair on their
You reach into your pockets for
change, and liver treats, dog kibble, and pick-up bags fall all over. (Bonus: You've done this in a classy
You've had long meaningful discussions with your friends on the best way to trim your dog's
nails, but have never had a manicure or pedicure in your lifetime.
Books and movies are ruined for you if the dog references are
The highlight of your day is spending time with your dog.
You watch simply awful movies because your breed is either featured in a cameo scene or there's a 3-second camera shot during a crowd
All of your clothes have dog hair on
them, even when they come back from the laundromat or dry cleaners.
The only thing your
friends, colleagues, and passing acquaintances say to you when they see you is,
"How are the dogs?" or "How many dogs do you have now?"
Your photo Christmas cards feature your dogs